Holiday
by WHENICOMEAROUND
Summary: PLOTBUNNY! Parody of LOST. Sort of. So much fun.
1. Got A Bandaid?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you enjoy chapter four. We did... hee hee hee.

AUTHOR'S NOTE1: It is fricken freezing in my house as I'm typing this, so I'm wearing gloves. Just in case anyone cares. :cricket, cricket:. Yeah. --WHENICOMEAROUND

DISCLAIMER: LOST belongs to ABC, but Sawyer belongs to ME. I wish. -Maria (again, ha ha)

-HOLIDAY-  
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND AND CO-AUTHOR ALLISON-  
-CHAPTER FOUR-

"Not to start anything," said Hurley. "but who's gonna carry the dynamite?"

Allisyn looked at Hurley and stuck her tongue out. Jack laughed quietly. "I'll take it." he said.

"No!" Allisyn and Kate said at the same time. Jack tried to his his smile. Allisyn looked at Jack in disbelief as he picked up the dynamite and carefully put it in his backpack. Locke looked around.

"Well, we'd better get going." he said as he walked into the jungle. Kate and Hurley followed. Jack put his backpack on his back, then realized Allisyn was still there.

"Aren't you going?" he asked her.

"That's what I should be asking you." Allisyn said, crossing her arms. "I'm giving them a ten-minute head start, just in case... something happens." The image of Jack walking through the jungle and exploding popped into Allisyn's head. She blinked quickly and it was gone. "Jack, why are you doing this? What are you trying to prove?" She was starting to cry.

Jack looked at Allisyn. He never really realized how much he meant to her until now. She's right, he thought. What am I trying to prove?

Then he knew- he wanted to prove to Allisyn that he wasn't scared.

He put down his backpack and moved closer to her. He wiped her eyes. She looked at him.

He held onto her face and gently pulled her forward. And without another word, he kissed her.

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"So I says to the mayor," said Maria once again, "mayor I says!"

"Would you just shut up about the damn mayor?" Sawyer shouted.

"So I says to the dentist," Maria said, laughing.

"Shut up!" Sawyer shouted.

"Make me!"

"Okay, fine. You asked for it."

Sawyer walked over to Maria, grabbed her, and kissed her on the mouth. Hard.

When he pulled away, he looked at her beautiful, surprised, brown eyes. "Maria," he began. But he was interrupted by the beeping of the transmitter. All of them ran to see. Sawyer reached for the flare and pointed it up into the dark night sky, prepared to shoot it.

"No." Michael said.

"No? What do you mean, no?"

"I mean we've only got one flare, and you're not wasting it on whatever that is out there!" said Michael.

It got quiet. They looked at the screen; the tiny green dot was almost gone.

"Do it, Sawyer!" Maria shouted.

He pulled the trigger and the flare went up. Instantly the beeping grew louder.

Walt cheered.

"Sawyer!" shouted Michael. What's your problem?"

Then, a boat came into view.

Walt cheered louder, joined this time by Jin. Maria looked into the horizon. It really was. It was a boat.

They all cheered.

"Hey!" shouted Michael.

There was a blinding light and a man's voice said, "You guys need help?"

"Yeah! We... we were on a plane, we crashed, and, we've been stuck on this island for a month, man!" Michael said. He was having trouble speaking. They were practically home already.

"You don't say." said the man very matter-of-factly.

"Can you help us?"

"Sure we can. Just give us the boy."

"What?" said Michael. The grin washed off his face.

"The boy."

Michael grabbed his son and pulled him close. Sawyer said, "You bastards aren't getting anybody."

"Oh, yeah?" at that instant somebody fell from the boat and onto the raft. Sawyer ran to grab him put the guy shot Sawyer in the arm. He screamed and flew back in the water.

"Sawyer!" Maria cried. She dove into the water after him.

Meanwhile, the "other" on the raft grabbed Walt and jumped back onto the boat. "DAD, HELP!" he screamed. Michael tried to go after him but one of the others threw a homemade bomb onto the raft next to Michael.

"Michael!" shouted Jin. He lunged on top of Michael and they fell into the water, and not a second too soon. The raft exploded and the others vanished without a trace.

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Jack and Allisyn kissed for what seemed like forever. Allisyn pulled back and looked at Jack.

"I thought..." she started to say.

"It doesn't matter." Jack cut her off. He looked up at the darkening sky. "We'd better get going if we want to make it back before it's late." Allisyn nodded as Jack let go of her. He picked up his backpack and cautiously put it on.

"Well, I guess I should get a head start," Allisyn said, turning to leave.

"No. It's too dangerous for you to go into the jungle by yourself." Jack protested.

"It's also dangerous to go with you." Allisyn pointed out.

"Yeah, well, why should we have to die alone?" Jack half smiled. Allisyn turned to face him. "So you're saying you want to die?"

Jack snickered at Allisyn's remark. "No, I don't. But if I do die, I'd rather die a hundred times with you than once by myself." He smiled.

"Oh, Jack," Allisyn said. Jack walked over to her. "Come on," he said. "Before everyone else starts to worry."

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Maria came up to the surface, gasping for breath. "Sawyer!" she shouted.

Behind her, he coughed. She grabbed his arm and began to swim. She looked around for Michael and Jin. She spotted them sitting on what was left of the raft.

"WAAAAAAALT!" Michael shouted into the heavens.

"Jin, help!" Maria said, swimming over the to them. She hoped Jin would understand.

Thankfully he did. Jin held out his hand and Maria grabbed it. He helped her up, then they both pulled Sawyer up.

The small piece of wood was submerging in water fast.

"This isn't going to hold us," Maria said. Another part of the raft floated ocer to them. Maria reached out and pulled it closer to her, then jumped onto it. Once she caught her balance she motioned for Sawyer to get on. Weakly, he hopped over, clutching his injured arm. He collapsed next to Maria.

"WAAAAAAAALT!" Michael shouted.

"Would you shut the hell up!" Sawyer shouted irritably. "He's not in shouting distance!"

"How would you know? WAAAALT!"

"I've got a pretty damn good idea!"

Sawyer got up and stuck his fingers inside his wound. He cried with pain.

"Sawyer, are you crazy? What the hell are you doing?" Maria exploded.

"I'm taking the bullet out of my arm!"

"With your hands?"

"You got any better ideas, Blondie?"

Maria shook her head and Sawyer proceeded to take out the bullet. He groaned with pain one last time as he pulled it out.

"Son of a bitch!"

Sawyer held the bullet in his bloody hand and stared at it for a moment. Angrily, he tossed it into the water. Then he grasped his arm and turned to Maria.

"You got a bandaid?"

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By the time Jack and Allisyn made it to the hatch night had already fallen.

"So what were you two doin'?" Hurley asked Allisyn. A mischievous grin spread across his face. Allisyn looked at him. She wanted to tell him about Jack's kiss and how it had felt like it had lasted for what seemed like an eternity. But she just said, "Nothing, Hurley."

Allisyn felt Jack's eyes on her. She turned to meet his gaze. He smiled and nodded as if to say, "Thanks for not saying anything in front of Kate." Allisyn's smile told him that she understood.

Locke was getting very bored. "Jack. The dynamite, please."

Jack took off his backpack and handed it to Locke. "Thank you, Jack." He walked over to the hatch door and knelt down. Locke opened the bag and started setting up the dynamite.

"Do you want some help there, Locke?" Kate called. Instantly Allisyn knew what Kate was trying to do. She was trying to impress Jack, she was.

If we're lucky she'll explode and then Jack will be all mine. Allisyn grinned at that thought.

"What are you smiling at?" Kate said.

"Nothing... just daydreaming." Allisyn replied.

Kate rolled her eyes and waited for Locke to give her something to do. And what better way to kill time than to talk to Jack.

"So do you think this will work?" she asked him. Jack avoided her gaze and simply replied, "I hope so."

He's acting weird, Kate thought.

"You okay, Jack?" she asked.

"Yeah... I'm just tired from the trip." he said, fake yawning.

"Kate," Locke said. She turned around. "Take this fuse behind the rocks over there. Kate nodded and took the fuse from Locke.

Hurley, who had been staring into space, glanced at the hatch.

It can't be, he thought.

He looked again. It was. There, on the hatch, were the numbers, 4 8 15 16 23 42.

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ALLISON: Definitely my favorite chapter. :grin:

MARIA: Oh, yes, me too. :grin: 


	2. Not The Diaper

DISCLAIMER:::sigh: We do not own LOST or anything remotely like it except this crazy fic, and this is even pushing it.

-HOLIDAY-  
-STARRING WHENICOMEAROUND AND ALLISON (ALSO KNOWN AS ALLIKAT225... HIP HOORAY, ALLISON MADE AN ACCOUNT!)- -CHAPTER FIVE-

"WAAAAALT!" Michael shouted for the ten millionth time.

"Michael, you should be saving your energy!" Maria told him. "You don't know what's gonna happen!"

"No! NO!" Michael shouted. He was beside himself. "They took my son! WAAALT!"

Why do I even bother? Maria wondered.

Michael looked at Sawyer. "This is all your fault!"

"Excuse me, but I tried to save your damn son and got shot in the process!"

"Well, if you would have listened to me when I told you not to shoot the flare this never would've happened!" Michael shouted defensively.

Maria was getting fed up with all the yelling. "Guys, stop!" she shouted. "It wasn't anyone's fault so stop assigning blame!"

Everyone looked at her, even Jin.

"Look," Maria went on. "maybe we shouldn't have shot the flare, but screaming at each other isn't gonna bring Walt back." she met Sawyer's gaze.

"Blondie has a good point," he said, not taking his eyes off her. "I shouldn't have shot the flare, and I'm sorry about Walt."

Michael nodded and realized that screaming Walt's name was doing nothing.

"We should get some rest," he said. "We'll figure out what to do in the morning."

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"STOP!" Hurley yelled. "The numbers are bad! Stop!"

Locke ignored him and lit the fuse anyway.

"Stop! STOP! John! STOP!"

"Hurley!" Kate and Allisyn yelled. Allisyn ran forward to be heroic and save him...

She pulled on his waist; just as the dynamite exploded, Kate rammed into Allisyn's knees and the three of them toppled to the ground. Allisyn felt the heat from the explosion as Hurley landed on top of her and nearly crushed her.

Breathing fast and hard, the three of them sat up. Jack ran over and said, "Are you guys okay?"

"Fine," said Kate breathlessly. Jack pulled on her arm and helped her up.

"Allisyn. You okay?" said Kate.

"Fine," she said, standing and helping Hurley up. "I'm okay."

Locke was bent over the hatch. "Well," he said. "Now, who wants to go first?"

Jack looked at Allisyn and Kate.

"No way." said Allisyn flatly. "I did my thing. I helped you get the dynamite. I'm not exploring some hunk of metal."

Jack looked at her. "Same for me. Obviously we're not getting everyone down there tonight. Let's go."

"Well, I'm going down." said Locke. "We didn't do this for nothing."

"No, we did this to hide everyone inside, and quite obviously that isn't gonna happen. So let's go."

Jack left and Allisyn followed. Hurley was already gone.

"Kate- you coming?" said Jack.

Kate looked at Locke once more, then said, "Yeah." and followed Jack.

Locke only shrugged.

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Michael was still moaning and groaning when the sun rose three hours later. Maria was sitting on the charred remains of the raft, shivering. Sawyer had once hand on his shoulder and his eyes were closed. It hurt so damn bad.

Jin said something in a calming tone that Sawyer didn't understand.

"Whatever you say, Chewie," he groaned.

He saw Maria sitting alone and pulled her closer with his good arm.

"Don't be scared, Mia," he said. "I got you."

Maria smiled. She looked at his shoulder. "That looks bad." she commented.

Sawyer shifted his shoulders. "It'll be okay." he said, even though it hurt like hell.

He put his free arm around her. She was shaking. He hugged her tighter. She put her head on his shoulder and stopped shaking.

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"Shannon. I need to get some water. Can you watch Aaron for a few minutes?"

Shannon looked up from her book. "Uh." She pushed a lock of blond hair behind her ear. "Yes, of course."

Claire led Shannon back to where Aaron was sleeping.

"He shouldn't wake up," said Claire. "I just put him down."

"Okay." said Shannon.

"If he wakes up, and he's crying, then rock him. He likes that. And if he won't stop, find Charlie. I think he's taking a bath. Or-"

"Claire. I can take care of it." said Shannon.

Claire smiled. "Thanks, Shannon." She left.

Shannon sighed and sat down beside Aaron. She picked up her book again.

Aaron stayed quiet for about a minute. Then he opened his eyes, looked around, and started screaming.

Shannon sat up. "Aaron?" she knelt down next to his cradle. "Aaron? What's wrong?"

As if he could answer.

Aaron screamed on. Shannon panicked. She picked him up and patted him on the back.

"Aaron!" said Shannon. "What's wrong?"

Maybe it's the diaper. Oh, no. Please don't be the diaper. Shannon peeked. No, it wasn't the diaper.

Then why was he crying? She rocked him in her arms.

"Aaron, quiet down. Please!"

He didn't. Shannon was at a dead end.

She started singing. Aaron quieted down. Shannon continued to sing. Aaron eventually stopped and Shannon sang until he went back to sleep.

Satisfied, Shannon kissed Aaron's head and put him back down.

"Dude."

Enter Hurley.

"You're back," Shannon commented.

"I am." he said. He gestured towards the baby. "You're, uh... you'rea a really good singer."

Shannon smiled. "Thanks." She crossed her arms and looked around. "So... how'd it go?"

"Okay," said Hurley. He sat down next to Aaron and stroked the baby's cheek with his finger. Shannon sat down next to him. "Just okay?"

Hurley smiled. Then he told Shannon the entire story. When he finished, her mouth was hanging open.

"Oh." she said quietly.

Aaron woke up and started screaming again.

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Maria, Jin, Sawyer, and Michael woke up on a beach. Maria woke up first, spitting out the sand that was in her mouth.

"Sawyer," she said, shaking him awake. "Sawyer, wake up!"

He rolled over and moaned. "It's too early, Blondie."

"SAWYER!" Maria bellowed. "MICHAEL! JIN! WAKE UP! LOOK AT WHERE WE ARE!"

Michael sat up. "Walt? WALT!"

Maria said, "Jin. Jin! Wake up!"

Jin sat up and shook his head.

Finally, Sawyer sat up and looked around.

He gasped.

"Looks like we're back home, y'all." he said, his southern drawl kicking in.

But they weren't. They were on the other side of the island. And this was proved by the shout behind them- "DON'T MOVE!" 


	3. Way To Be Tough

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  
MARIA: Okay, here is the story. Allison and I are both borderline obsessed with LOST. And recently we crossed the line and wrote this.

ALLISON: Hi, this is Allison. Ummm... Since me and Maria are in love with Lost (and some people on it) :cough cough: Maria loves Sawyer!

MARIA: HEY! Well, Allison loves JACK!

ALLISON: No! Okay maybe. Anyway we thought it would be fun to be on Lost! So we put ourselves in the show and this is what we came up with. Hope you like it!

DISCLAIMER: We don't own LOST, but we do own Allisyn and Maria. So no one try to steal them. Or else. Ha.

SUMMARY: An ACC parody of LOST. Sort of. If the people are out of character this is why. Have fun.

-HOLIDAY-  
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND AND COMPANY-  
-CHAPTER ONE-

"We should be ready to go by tomorrow morning." said Michael. Walt looked up from his comic book at his father and rolled his eyes. Michael had been saying that for a week now. Seeing this, Maria smiled at the boy.

"So, here's the plan- Jin, Sawyer, Walt, Maria and I will set sail tomorrow morning, hopefully in good weather." said Michael to Jack.

"Sounds good," said Jack. "Now, I will proceed to lead a journey through the jungle and act all heroic so either Allisyn or Kate will fall in love with me."

"Good for you," said Michael. "Have fun."

"I heard my name," Allisyn said, walking up to Jack with a smile.

"Where did you come from?" Jack said, surprised to see Allisyn.

"Uhh... over there." Allisyn pointed. "I was helping Claire with the baby and I got bored so I came to see how the raft was coming along." Jack looked at Allisyn expectantly. "What? I have a short attention span!" she said defensively.

Jack smiled. "I know."

Enter Kate. "Hey Jack, Allisyn. What's going on?"

"We were just talking." said Allisyn.

"Hmmm," said Kate, a neutral response.

Jack saw the tension building between Allisyn and Kate, so being the thoughtful, heroic guy he was he decided to change the subject.

"Uhh... you guys ready?" he said. "To get the dynamite, I mean."

"Yes." said Kate and Allisyn at the same time. They glared at one another, then fake-laughed awkwardly.

"Let's go." said Jack. He smiled to himself. It was great having girls fight over him.

Kate and Allisyn left, followed by Jack.

"That's so cute." said Maria to no one in particular.

"What?" Michael said, not looking up from the raft.

"Them." Maria points to where Jack, Allisyn, and Kate had previously inhabited.

"Oh." he said, looking in the direction of her pointing finger.

Enter Sawyer. "Hey Mike, Walt, MIA."

"Don't call me that, Sawyer," said Maria for the millionth time. Hearing her comment but ignoring it, Sawyer turned to Michael. "When is this hunk of bamboo gonna be ready?"

"Soon, Sawyer," said Michael. "Be patient."

Sawyer rolled his eyes. Then he turned to look at Maria.

"So, cupcake, I hear you're coming on our little voyage." she looked at him.

He's so hot, Maria thought.

"Yes, I am. Is that a problem, sir?" She looked over Sawyer and saw Walt smiling at her. He shook his head. Walt knew Maria had feelings for Sawyer and he also knew that she was probably in heaven right now.

Maria looked back at Sawyer. "I don't have a problem with it at all." he realized what he had just said. "Uhhh... I mean, it's not my job to decide who goes on the raft, so I don't give a damn."

"Good save, Sawyer." said Walt, not looking up from his comic book.

"Whatever." he mumbled as he walked away. Maria turned to see both Michael and Walt looking at her.

"What?" she demanded.

"Nothing." said Michael, smiling.

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"So, tell me something." said Kate. She was walking three feet behind Jack, hanging on his every word. Allisyn was walking a safe distance behind thinking, "Bitch."

"What?" said Jack.

"How do you know that this French lady isn't insane? That there isn't any dynamite? That this is a waste of time?"

"We don't." said Jack. He stopped, turned around, and looked Kate in the eye. "But it's not a waste of time."

"Oh, yeah?" Kate squinted. "How?"

Jack leaned in for the kiss, but at that exact moment, Allisyn sneezed.

"We should get moving." Locke said.

Jack moved up and talked to Locke, leaving Allisyn and Kate alone. Bad idea. Allisyn was flaming with jealous anger. She wanted Jack, so much in fact that she wanted him more than getting off this stupid island.

"You think you're pretty slick, don't you, Kate?" Allisyn found herself saying.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." said Kate, pretending to be confused.

"Yes, you do!" Allisyn insisted angrily.

Kate thought for a moment and then it came to her. "You want Jack, don't you?"

Allisyn thought about denying it. But then she knew she'd never get what she wanted if she did. So she said, "Brilliant observation, Captain Obvious."

Kate laughed. "Dream on, Allisyn! Jack loves ME."

"No, Jack loves ME!"

"He loves ME!"

"ME!"

"Excuse me, but you're acting like a couple of twelve year olds," said Hurley calmly. "Could you tone it down a bit?"

"SHUT IT, FAT HEAD!" Kate and Allisyn shouted at the same time.

Hurley widened his eyes and turned around, muttering something that sounded very much like, "Girls."

Kate and Allisyn faced each other, prepared to battled. Allison tossed blond hair angrily. Then Jack called, "Kate? Allisyn? Are you coming?"

With one last murderous glare at Kate, Allisyn hurried after Jack.

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"Well... are you guys set to go now?"

Michael looked at Walt, who was reading the same coming book he'd been reading the night before; Jin, who was pretending he understood; Sawyer, who was pretending he was incredibly sexy, and Maria, who was thinking, "Uh, yeah you are!"

"Let's go, then." he said. "Walt, put the comic book down for a second."

"Uh-uh." said Walt. Michael looked expectantly at Sawyer and Maria.

"Walt," said Maria, who was eager to leave this island before she had to hear Charlie or Hurley sing that song from West Side Story again. Seriously, if she heard "Ma-ri-aaaaa!" one more time, she was going to explode. "Put the comic book down so we can leave. Please."

Walt replied, "Just let me finish this chapter!"

"It's a comic book. There are no chapters!" Sawyer shouted irritably. "Walt, PUT THE DAMN COMIC BOOK DOWN NOW!"

Walt put the book down.

"Oooh, Sawyer," said Maria in an I'm-Telling-On-You sort of tone that everyone had used at least once in elementary school. "Way to be tough."

Sawyer hid his smile behind a scowl.

"Let's get going then, you guys." said Michael.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hope you liked this! It was a lot of fun to write. And it gave us something to do in Math. Also, this is Allison's first fic and I personally think she did fabulously, so please be nice in reviewing! Thanks for reading, there should be another chapter soon! 


	4. Don't Mention It

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey all, we're baa-aack! Enjoy this chapter!

DISCLAIMER: We still don't own LOST. If we did, that would mean we own Sawyer (Maria-:drool:) and Jack (Allison- :drool:), and then we wouldn't need to write this. :Muhahahahahaha:

-HOLIDAY-  
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND AND CREW-  
-CHAPTER TWO-

Everyone was silent on the rest of the way to get the dynamite. They were walking in a straight line like little ducks; first Jack, then Allisyn, Locke, and Rousseau; then Kate and Arzt, with Hurley bringing up the rear. After Allisyn and Kate nearly killed each other the rest of them thought it was a good idea for them to be separated.

Allisyn has no clue what's she up against, Kate thought bitterly. Being a fugitive (somewhat) she wasn't afraid of hurting Allisyn. Kate was so deep in thought that she didn't notice the tree root in front of her. She tripped right over the tree root and fell with a thud. Danielle, who was walking in front of her, didn't turn around, but Jack did.

"Kate, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm good." she said, getting up and brushing herself off.

Jack looked at Kate and then at Allisyn. She smiled and their eyes met. Jack then realized how nice her eyes were. Jack blinked and turned back around. Allisyn saw he was upset about something. They proceeded walking. She fell into step next to him.

"Something wrong, Jack? You seem off."

"What? Oh, I'm fine. Really." said Jack, but that wasn't true at all. Every since he'd gotten on this island he'd been torn apart.

"Because you know I'm always here if you want to talk." Allisyn said. Jack stopped and turned to face her. He put his hands on her shoulders and said, "Yes, I know. Thank you." He turned and started walking again.

Allison hurried up a bit to catch up with him.

"So," asked Jack with a smile. "What were you and Kate fighting about?" As if I didn't know, he thought.

"Oh, that." said Allisyn, blushing slightly. "Well, you know how girls are. Kate must be PMSing." This seemed like an unorthodox comment to make to a guy, but Jack was special to her. He proved this when he laughed.

"We're here." Locke stated.

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ALLISON: Sorry to interrupt this fic, but the next episode is THREE WEEKS AWAY! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

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When they got to the ship, Rousseau said simply, "Explosives are in the hull of the ship."

Then she started walking away.

"Rousseau," called Jack. "hey! Where are you going?"

"You need dynamite. You don't need me."

"Who's gonna lead us back?" said Jack.

Oh, I'll lead you back, Allisyn was thinking with a smile. And I'll lead Kate straight into a-

"I'll lead us back," said Locke heroically, interrupting Allisyn's thoughts.

Jack glanced at Allisyn, who was fiddling with the straps on her backpack; Kate, who was gazing at him fondly; and Hurley, who was staring blankly into space, probably wishing that the rock he was staring at were a turkey sandwich. Jack chuckled silently at his thought.

"Fine." said Jack, looking away from the Turkey Sandwich Rock to view Locke. "Okay."

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It was a sad goodbye that morning on the beach. No one knew what was going to happen to the raft, and some (most) of them knew that this was probably the final goodbye.

"Mia," said Charlie, hugging Maria. "Good luck elsewhere."

Maria winced slightly at "Mia" but smiled and hugged back.

"Same to you," she said. Claire, who was standing beside Charlie, smiling and holding her baby, moved forward and hugged Maria with her one free arm.

"Best of luck, Mia." she said.

Maria smiled, knowing that she would probably be Mia forever now, thanks to Sawyer. She somewhat missed it. Her cousins had called her that growing up. "You too, Claire." she said. Claire held up her baby. "Say goodbye to Mia, Aaron."

Maria kissed Aaron's big turnip head. "God bless, Aaron."

Aaron smiled. He probably would have smiled even if Maria had said it with a nasty tone. He was a happy baby. He agreed to everything except maybe a wet diaper.

Maria turned and picked up her backpack. She headed towards the raft.

Everyone lined up along the sides and pushed the raft into the water as Michael shouted things like, "Hey, keep it straight on the left side!" and "Watch out, Charlie, WATCH OUT!"

Finally, the raft was in the water. Sawyer jumped up onto it and pulled Jin up, then Jin pulled Maria.

The people on the beach cheered and waved; Walt called, "Bye, Vincent!", Charlie and Sayid whistled.

Sawyer smiled and looked at Maria. It took her a minute to realize he was staring.

"What?" she said.

"Nothin'." he said, grinning. He winked at her, then turned around and tugged on the sail.

Maria looked back at the beach and waved to Shannon, who was standing with Vincent. She waved back.

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"Did any of you hear about the guy who invented nitroglycerin?"

Jack glanced at Kate and rolled his eyes. She smiled.

Arzt was wrapping the dynamite that Locke and Jack had salvaged from the wrecked ship. Jack regretted bringing him along- he treated them like one of his high school classes.

"Didn't think so," Arzt was saying. Allisyn crossed her eyes at Hurley. He smiled. "Because he blew his brains out!"

Arzt stood up. "So the lab assistant comes in and says, 'Heh. I guess this stuff works'."

And with that, he stood up.

"Now, we're not gonna take any more than we need, because we don't need any of you exploding. So we just-"

BOOM!

Instinctively, Jack dove on top of the nearest person- Allisyn- and pulled on what he could reach from there- Kate's arm. The three of them fell to the ground. Hurley shouted, "DUDE!" and did the same.

Allisyn looked up at Jack's eyes and smiled. He smiled too, then realized the where he was in and mumbled, "Sorry."

"Don't mention it." she said, standing up.

Kate looked livid. 


	5. Mayor I Says

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Back again. Here's chapter three... enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: LOST belongs to JJ Abbrams and all those people up at ABC with high authority. The phrase "QUIET, MORTALS!" belongs to Maria Christina-Lucia, also known as WHENICOMEAROUND and Mia. Also, the phrase "So I says to the mayor, mayor I says!" belongs to Allison Marie-Catherine, previously known as Jam but not anymore. Ha, ha, ha, neon light.

-HOLIDAY-  
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND AND SPECIAL GUEST STAR ALLISON-  
-CHAPTER THREE-

On the raft everyone was silently doing the jobs assigned to them. Maria, who didn't have anything to do at the moment, was sitting on the side of the raft, looking into the horizon.

"What's wrong Mi- Maria?"

Maria looked up at Sawyer, who was steering.

"Nothing."

"Tell me..." said Sawyer with a grin.

"It's just... I'm scared. I mean, no one knows whether we'll live or die out here. I'm really scared." she said. She knew that this was the chance she took, offering to come out here, but now, reality was setting in and scaring her.

She looked at Sawyer. There was an awkward silence. He knelt down next to Maria and put his hand on her shoulder. "Maria. Don't worry. It'll be okay. And if anyone lays a finger on you... I'll kill the bastard."

Maria laughed. "Thanks, Sawyer, I guess."

Seeing that Maria was in a much better mood, Sawyer smiled at his accomplishment and went back to steering.

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"Okay, who's gonna carry this?" Hurley said, pointing to the dynamite. They all looked at each other.

"I will." said Allisyn. Jack shot a glance at her as if you say, "You just saw a guy blow up and now you wanna risk your life carrying this crap?"

Kate glared at her. "You know, I don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe I should carry it."

"No, really. I insist."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," said Kate. Yeah, right, she added as a thought.

"I'll be fine!"

Kate lost it. She punched Allisyn hard across the face. Allisyn flew backward.

"Why you little BITCH!" Allisyn screamed, stumbling to her feet.

"Oh, yeah, I'm the bitch, right?" Kate yelled back retorically.

"You're the one that punched ME!" Allisyn yelled.

"QUIET, MORTALS!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Everything went silent.

"Mortals?" Hurley snickered. Jack glared at him.

"Come on, Allisyn," said Jack. "let's get you cleaned up."

He led Allisyn over to his backpack. She sat down on a rock as Jack looked through his bag.

"So do you still think Kate has PMS?" he asked with a grin. Allisyn rolled her eyes. Jack took out his water bottle and wet a cloth. He cleaned up Allisyn's lip and face.

"I know Kate can be a bit hot-headed at times," he said as he did this. "but it's only because of what happened."

"Why? What happened?" asked Allisyn, and Jack realized that this was Kate's secret, and Allisyn didn't know.

But he put his trust in Allisyn and said, "A few years ago, a very good childhood friend of Kate's was killed."

"Oh," said Allisyn. Even though she didn't care for Kate, she felt sympathetic towards the situation. "That's horrible."

"Yeah. And she's been living in grief for a whle now." Jack purposely left out the parts where it was sort of Kate's fault Tom had died, and how she robbed a bank just to get one of his possesions, killing a man in the process.

"That's horrible," Allisyn repeated. "horrible."

"So I'd be... er... nicer, if I were you." Jack said, smiling.

Jack looked into Allisyn's eyes again, this time for longer. He probably would have done this forever if Kate hadn't cleared her throat loudly and said, "We're only an hour show, you two."

Jack smiled as he helped Allisyn up.

"Come on," he said to the group at large. "We've got to pack it up."

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Jin regretted having come on the raft. He couldn't understand what she was saying, but Maria kept repeating a phrase over and over gain. Walt rolled his eyes and went back to his comic book. It was hard to believe that Walt was the kid and Maria was the adult.

"So I says to the mayor," Maria said again. "mayor I says!"

Sawyer was becoming immensely aggravated. "Hey, Blondie. Could you shut up for a few minutes?"

Maria fingered her messy brown hair that was tied into a loose ponytail with a smile. "So I says to the mayor..."

"Mayor I says." Sawyer, Michael, and Walt finished.

"You got it." said Maria. She sat down on the edge of the raft and took off her shoes and sock. She put her feet in the water. She hummed a song and splashed her feet around.

Sawyer half groaned, half chuckled.

"What?" said Maria defensively. "I'm bored!"

Sawyer took off his own shows and sat down beside her. "Wanna play a gam?"

"Sure. What?"

"I'm gonna guess something about you, then you tell me if it's true or not." His eyes were twinkling. Maria smiled.

"Okay, you go first." said Maria.

"Well, I know you never liked long car trips."

She laughed. "Well, you are right." she said. "How did you guess?"

Sawyer smiled. He looked better when he did, Maria decided. Even better than when he wasn't.

"Because you've been saying, 'so I says to the mayor, I says!' for two hours straight."

Behind them, Michael chuckled to himself. Jin looked at him and smiled.

"I don't think you've ever been in love." said Maria with a smile. "You're too tough. Or you act too tough."

"Damn straight," said Sawyer, who was smirking. Even if it was a lie, he wanted to play dangerously. "But you have."

Maria's face reddened as she remembered Ryan from the ninth grade, and knowing Ryan wasn't the last one. Sawyer laughed.

"So it's true!"

"Shut up, Sawyer!" said Maria. She splashed some water on him.

He laughed. "You've never been to college."

"Wrong!" said Maria, laughing. "I graduated from NYU when I was twenty-two."

"Really," said Sawyer, not so much as a real question as a retorical statement. "What'd ya major in?"

"Cinematography," said Maria. "I'm a director. Was, I mean. Before..." she sighed and held out her arms to the sky. "the crash."

"Really," said Sawyer in that same retorical way. Maria smiled. It was so hot when he did that.

"That's what I was doing in Australia, you know. Directing a blink-182 video. I was on my way back home to LA. I guess I'll never get there now, in time for..." she trailed off. She looked up and saw that he was looking at her and really listening. She liked that. Then she remembered what she had been saying and blushed. "Never mind."

"No, no. Tell me." said Sawyer.

She almost did. But right at that moment, Michael cleared his throat.

"Uh... Mia. Time to check."

Maria blushed again. "Yeah, okay."

She stood up and walked to the transmittor. It was her job to check for anything every hour. Sayid had given her the transmittor and told her to turn it on every hour, and only for a few minutes.

"Otherwise the battery will die." he had lectured her. "Remember, Mia, only a few minutes every hour, otherwise-"

"SAYID, I KNOW!" she had shouted.

Back in reality, Maria flicked it on to send out a distress signal. She then turned on the screen. Nothing.

"Can I see? Can I see?" Walt hopped up and down and rocked the raft, trying to see the screen.

"Walt!" Michael, Maria, Jin, and Sawyer shouted at the same time.

Walt stopped jumping. "Sorry."

Jin moved and Walt looked up at the screen in front of him expectantly.

"It's blank."

"What'd you expect, Bugs Bunny?" said Sawyer irritably. In the midst of all the jumping Walt had landed on Sawyer's bare toe. Maria lauged.

"Shut up, Blondie." said Sawyer irritably.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	6. A Big Boy

FOR PAULA AND JESSA: A nice Jateish chapter for you, since I know you were dying. Heart you both. ---Maria

FOR CAITLYN: In your face, because I will die before I write a Skater fic. But hey, look on the birght side- better me than Kate! Ha, ha. Love you anyway, ----Maria

DISCLAIMER: For the millionth time, we do not own "LOST". Or "HOLIDAY". The song, at least, but the story is ours.

-HOLIDAY-  
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND INC.- -CHAPTER SIX-

Allisyn looked at Kate, who was sitting on a log talking to Jack. She wanted to hate her. She wanted to be jealous. But she couldn't. She just couldn't.

I'm low, Allisyn thought with a sinking heart. She saved my life. And when she finds out about what happened with Jack, she's going to hate me.

Jack clapped a hand on Kate's knee and they both smiled; Jack left.

Allisyn approached Kate.

"Hey," said Kate when she saw Allisyn.

"Hey," said Allisyn. "Listen, uh... I wanted to... to thank you."

"Oh," said Kate, smiling. "well... you're welcome."

Allisyn smiled. They sat in silence for a minute, then Kate said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For... punching you." Kate blushed. "We were acting like twelve year old girls. This is stupid."

"It is," Allisyn agreed. "it is stupid."

Kate and Allisyn smiled at each other.

"So, what do you say, Allisyn? Friends?" Kate held out a hand.

Allisyn smiled and shook it. "Friends."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't get up. Stay put."

Saywer glanced at Michael, who was staring open-mouthed at the man.

"Stay put." he said again. He was pointing a knife at them.

They all got up off the ground; the man yelled, "STAY!"

Everyone, even Sawyer, stayed put. He couldn't risk another injury and he really didn't want to suffer in front of Maria anymore.

"Okay, now follow me." he said, turning around. Jin, Mike, Sawyer, and Maria all looked at each other. Reluctantly they followed the man into the jungle. Nobody spoke until he was a safe distance away.

"Sawyer, what are we supposed to do?" Maria hissed. Sawyer looked at her.

"Listen, Mia," he said quietly. "Promise me that no matter what happens, you're gonna be there if I need you."

Maria looked square in his eyes and said, "Then promise me the same."

"I promise."

"Then so do I."

"QUIET!" The man yelled, not looking back. Maria and Sawyer looked at each other and smiled. Nobody dared to say anything the rest of the trip.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you think it's safe for Locke to go down there by himself?" Jack asked Allisyn.

She wasn't paying attention, though.

"What?"

Jack sighed. "Do you think it's safe for Locke to go down there on his own?"

Allisyn had to think about that for a second. "It's not really safe for anyone to go alone. But I'm sure Locke can handle himself. He's a big boy, Jack." Allisyn said the last sentence with a smile.

Jack wasn't in the mood for humor. He turned and looked into the horizon. Allisyn sighed.

"Jack, listen. I know you think you have to look out for everybody. But you can't control them. Different people have different beliefs. Locke is a man of fate and destiny and he thinks he's meant to go down there. I know you're only trying to protect him, but Locke is an independent person and doesn't like being told what to do that will get in the way of his... destiny."

Jack looked into Allisyn's eyes. "You're right. But I just want everyone to be safe. Especially," he added, even though it was somewhat irrelevant. "you and Kate."

She nodded to show her understanding. "I mean, if something happened to you... I'd... I'd kill myself." Jack's eyes swelled with tears.

So did Allisyn's. "Don't worry, Jack," she whispered. "we're gonna be okay."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They walked for about an hour and a half. No food, no water. Just walking. Maria's mouth was dry, Sawyer was about to faint with hunger, and Michael and Jin were both tired due to lack of sleep the night before. But they kept trudging along. Finally, they got the their unannounced destination.

"Wait here." the man told them. "If you run, you will be killed."

Then he walked away.

"Somebody's brutally honest." Sawyer said sarcastically.

A little while later, he returned.

"Come." he commanded.

What are we, dogs? Maria wanted to say, but for once in her life she kept her mouth shut.

He led them through the jungle some more. Suddenly he stopped and opened up some kind of door in the ground, covering a hole. As they were all looking down into the hole he pushed them inside it.

"Son of a BITCH!" Sawyer yelled when he fell on his bad arm.

The man closed the door and left.

"HEY!" Maria yelled at the hatch. "HEY! COME BACK HERE!"

She kicked the wall angrily. "Well," she said to no one in particular. "now what?"

Michael and Jin just looked at her and shrugged.

Sawyer walked over to Maria and pulled her over to the side.

"Mia," he said. "take this." he held out a gun.

Maria's eyes widened.

"Take it, please!" he insisted.

Reluctantly, Maria took it.

"Thank you." Sawyer said.

"But... Sawyer, I don't understand-" Sawyer cut Maria off.

"You promised you'd be there for me no matter what. I just though this could help." Then he held her face with his good hand and leaned in to kiss her.

"How sweet, now let me go throw up now." a woman's voice said. Sawyer let go of Maria and looked up.

"Who the hell are you?" Maria asked.

"You will find out soon enough." she said simply. Now, usually Maria didn't judge people she had just met, but she already hated this girl, whoever she was.

She opened the door and dropped a rope down. "You, and you," she said, pointing to Michael and Jin. "Come up here. Now."

Michael nodded and made a gesture for Jin to follow him. As soon as they climbed up, the rope was gone and the door closed once again. Maria and Sawyer were left alone.

Sawyer sat down and leaned against the dirt wall.

"What a bitch." Maria said, sort of thinking aloud. Sawyer smiled at her. "You just don't like her because she interrupted our Moment."

Maria blushed. "No!" Sawyer looked at her disbelievingly. "Maybe."

Sawyer motioned for her to sit next to him. As soon as she did, he put his arm around her.

"Don't worry, Mia. I have a feeling there will be plenty more Moments like that."

"What are you saying?" Maria smiled and blushed even more. She knew what was coming.

"What I'm trying to say," Sawyer started to say. "Is that I-"

"Okay, enough, Romeo and Juliet." Sawyer glared at the woman standing above them. Maria's right, he thought. What a bitch.

"You. Come here." she was pointing at Maria.

Maria shot Sawyer a look of panic and fear. His eyes told her he felt the same.

"GET UP! I DON'T HAVE ALL YEAR!"

Maria got up slowly and climbed the rope. As the woman was closing the hatch Sawyer said, "You hurt her, and I'll kill you."

"Whatever!" she said, slamming the door.

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer yelled, and he pounded the walls of his prison with his fists.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack was sitting on the beach by himself. He needed to think. His mind was crammed with memories from the night before, strange, inexplicable emotions concerning Kate and Allisyn, and of course the ongoing possibility that he was insane.

Then Kate interrupted his thoughts. Had it been anyone but her (except possibly Allisyn), he would have been annoyed.

But he wasn't. So he smiled.

"You and Allisyn still fighting over me?" he said without thinking. She smiled.

"No," she said. She sat down beside him. "We're cool."

Jack smiled. "Good."

Kate slid closer to him. He put an arm around her shoulder.

"You did a decent thing," he said to her quietly. "making peace with Allisyn."

She smiled. Then he kissed her.

And it would have almost not mattered if Allisyn weren't watching. 


	7. That Michelle Rodriguez Girl

AUTHORS' NOTE: This chapter is dedicated to all those That Michelle Rodriguez Girl haters out there. We know she has a name. We just like saying That Michelle Rodriguez Girl better. Also, because Lucia is Maria's name (one of them, at least), she refuses to call someone like her that.

ALSO: TO CAITLYN: We stuck in a Chaire moment especially for you. Enjoy!

ALSO: TO THE REVIEWERS WHO COMPLIMENTED US ON RETURNING TO JATE: I know. I was dying with Allisyn there. Sorry, Allison, but it's the truth. JATEFATE! --MARIA

ALLISON: Shut up, Maria.

A/N1: Crazy chapter, because we added in Maria's friend Jessa and her cousin Sky. Heart you guys! ---MARIA

DISCLAIMER: We don't own Lost. Life sucks. (Overdramatic there, but ha ha.)

-HOLIDAY-  
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND AND CREW-  
-CHAPTER SEVEN-

That Michelle Rodriguez Girl opened the door and threw the rope down. "Get up here." she commanded Sawyer.

He didn't move. "I ain't doin' nothin' till I know she's okay."

Maria appeared at That Michelle Rodriguez Girl's side. "I'm fine."

Sawyer looked at her. She looked fine; just a little shooken up.

So he grabbed the rope with his good arm and That Michelle Rodriguez Girl pulled him up.

"We had a little chat," said Michael. "they believe that we were on the plane too."

"Guess we can all sue Oceanic together now, huh?" said Sawyer, trying to ease the moment. That Michelle Rodriguez Girl didn't laugh; Maria smiled.

"I'm AnaLucia." said That Michelle Rodriguez Girl.

(:A/N: MARIA:::groans from peanut gallery: Sorry for interrupting the story, but please. LUCIA IS MY NAME!

ALLISON: Maria, you're interrupting the story!

MARIA: Okay, okay. Sorry.:)

"Sawyer," said Sawyer. He pointed to Maria and Michael. "This here's Mike and Mia, and the quiet Korean guy's named Jin."

"Fascinating," said That Michelle Rodriguez Girl. "Now let's go."

"Where to?" said Michael.

"Back to where you came from. But first we're gonna spend the night here."

"Says who?" Michael demanded.

"Says me. And anyone who's got a problem with that can go right back in the pit, you hear?"

Maria leaned over and whispered to Jin, "I don't like her."

Jin nodded as if he understood.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Claire."

Charlie walked into the caves and saw Claire, who was sitting awake, watching baby Aaron sleep with bags under her eyes.

"Hey, Charlie." she said wearily, trying to smile.

"Claire, you need to get some rest." said Charlie.

"I can't go to sleep. Someone might take him again."

Charlie sighed. Then he tossed her a blanket.

"Sleep. I'll watch the baby." Claire looked at him disbelievingly. "I'm not going anywhere." Charlie assured her.

Claire stood up and hugged him. He looked at her.

"Thank you." she whispered, then she kissed him.

Charlie smiled. "You're welcome."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jin woke up to the sound of nervous talking. He understood one word: "Michael."

He stood up. "Michael?"

The blond lady, Libby, was talking to Sawyer and Maria nervously.

"I woke up, and he was gone!" she cried hysterically.

Sawyer motioned for Jin to come over to him.

"He ain't coming back without his kid." he said in an undertone.

"Michael." Jin said. "Walt." Then he started to walk away.

"No." said Sawyer. "Let him go. In case you haven't noticed, Chewie, ya gotta set your priorities straight out here. Mike's gotta worry about his kid. And me..." Sawyer gestured his head towards Maria, who was trying to calm Libby down. "I made me a promise."

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Allisyn couldn't believe what she saw. She thought Jack cared about her. Tears filled Allisyn's eyes.

"I thought you loved me, Jack." she said to herself in a whisper. "But here you are, on the beach, making out with Kate."

The strange thing was that Allisyn wasn't mad at Kate. She was mad at Jack.

Allisyn marched up to Jack and Kate angrily. "What's going on here?" she said casually. Jack looked and saw Allisyn standing over him and Kate. He stood up and looked into Allisyn's hurt eyes.

"Allisyn, it's not what it looks like." he said.

She looked at him in disbelief. "Is that right." Allisyn crossed her arms. "Because it looked like you and Kate were just kissing."

Jack only hung his head sheepishly.

"So it is what it looked like." said Allisyn.

"I'm sorry, Allisyn. I didn't think you'd find out." said Jack.

"So that makes it okay!" Allisyn couldn't believe what he was saying. She looked from Jack to Kate.

"Kate. May I call you Kate?" she said. "You think Jack loves you now, right? Well, I got news for you. He doesn't."

Kate stood up. "What are you-"

Allisyn held up her hand in front of Kate's face. "All I'm saying is that I thought the same thing when Jack kissed me."

Kate's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. Then she turned to Jack.

"Is this true?"

He just looked at her wide eyes and whispered, "Yes it is."

"Why?" Kate said.

"I'm sorry." said Jack again.

"What were you thinking!" Allisyn asked ragingly. "I'll tell you what you were thinking. You weren't thinking at all. That's what you were thinking."

Jack took a step forward. "Look, I know you're both mad at me and you have a right to be. What I did was absolutely horrible, and I'm sorry."

Allisyn and Kate looked at each other. Kate nodded.

"Fine, Jack." said Kate coolly. "You want to play games? Then you have to choose."

"What?" said Jack.

"Yeah, Jack." Allisyn agreed. "One or the other. Stop fooling around."

Jack looked from Allisyn to Kate. "No. This is ridiculous."

"Then you get neither." said Kate, and she left. And with one last look at Jack, Allisyn left too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jin looked at Sawyer and said something in Korean. Then he ran into the jungle after Michael.

"Jin!" Sawyer yelled. He started to follow him, but That Michelle Rodriguez Girl stepped in front of him. "Let him go."

He just looked at her and started walking again. Someone grabbed his arm. He spun around; it was Maria.

"Sawyer, let him go. Like you said, we've all got priorities. Maybe Jin thinks he needs to help Michael."

Her eyes were what stopped him. The look of fear and seriousness in her eyes stopped him and right then he realized how much she meant to him. He realized how many times a day her face was in his head and how much he cared about her.

"Okay, Mia." he said profusely, as though his tongue were a dead weight. "You win."

Suddenly there came a rustling behind them. That Michelle Rodriguez Girl spun around.

"It's the others!" she cried.

"No... IT'S JESSA!"

Jessa emerged from the vegetation. "Hey, Maria!"

"Hey, Jessa!" Maria cried, hugging her friend.

Another figure emerged from the jungle. "Sky!" Maria cried.

"Hey, Maria!" Sky cried.

"What are you doing here?" Jessa asked Maria.

"Oh, I was in a plane crash, then me and him and these two other guys-" she pointed Sawyer. "-went out on this raft, but some Others blew it up, then we crashed on shore and she-" she pointed to That Michelle Rodriguez Girl. "-locked us in some pit, and now here we are." Maria smiled.

"Oh. And who are all they?" Jessa asked, pointing to everyone behind Maria.

"Oh, the hot blond guy is Sawyer-"

Sawyer blushed. "Mia..." he mumbled.

"And this is AnaLucia, but you can call her That Michelle Rodriguez Girl." said Maria, pointing.

"Actually, I prefer-" That Michelle Rodriguez Girl began, but Maria kept going.

"And here is Libby, Cindy, Bernard, and Eko." said Maria, pointing around. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Nothing much. Hey, we should be going. We'll see you around, okay?" said Jessa.

"Okay. Later, Jess. Later, Sky."

"Bye!" they said, and they went back into the jungle.

Maria turned back to her group. "Let's keep going, then."

No one else said anything.

"That was freaky." said Bernard.

"Yes." said Cindy.

"All right, okay. Let's keep going." said That Michelle Rodriguez Girl very bossily. "Let's go."

Sawyer rolled his eyes at Maria. Maria smiled. Then they followed That Michelle Rodriguez Girl away. 


End file.
